Love is not dead, it’s just resting

How often do you tell your loved ones that they are loved?

On a sliding scale, I think the most romantic medium are (with 1 being most lovely):

1. In person – the most romantic. A bonus if it’s with eye contact too, not as you’re picking breakfast cereal off your top and your partner is sailing out the door.
2. Post – delightful. I adore paper. Send me anything by post and it immediately gets Bonus Points for effort.
3. Telephone (talking) – still quite romantic. Not sure where Skype falls in this list. Maybe between 2 and 3, depending on your connection speed and quality of web cam. “What?? What?? I can’t hear you. Why is the video so fuzzy?” is a mood-killer.
4. Email. Well, I guess it’s sort of like a letter, so depending on the content it can be romantic. It’s not romantic if it ends in the request for an urgent cash transfer in US dollars.
5. Telephone (texting). See story below.

Last week, I was out and about in town, hanging with the hipsters. Browsing through displays of vintage glass bottles; admiring photographs of artist with their heads covered in shaving foam etc.

It was sunny. I was happy. In this general spirit of well-being and happiness, I sent husband a text: “I love you. Lots.”

A few minutes later, he called back: “Are you OK?”

I paused. “Er, yes. I’m OK. Hi.” (Puzzlement.)

Husband: “I got your text. Thanks. Just checking that you’re not um …” (Uncomfortable pause.)

Me: “What?”

Husband: “Are you OK?”

Me: “Yes… I’m not standing on a cliff about to throw myself in to the sea! I was just sending you a lovely text!”

Husband: “Right. OK then.”

So that’s how it is in our relationship. I love you = Cry for help. Just to be clear, the next time I said “I love you” I added “but I’m not going to kill myself.”