Tag Archives: husband

New year guilt-free information cleanse

It’s Chinese New Year and it’s time to celebrate the last year, relax with family, and look ahead to the next year.

On reflection, it turns out that my husband is a very wise man who has solid advice for me, despite being part of the white male liberal urban middle-class capitalist patriarchy. (Just joking. Mostly. Luv u!!)

On politics: “We’ll be OK.”

The shuddering , sliding and shifting of world politics has been consistently  concerning for me. But husband has taken a practical view that we will survive it, and that despair is pointless.

In the more eloquent words of author and activist Rebecca Solnit: “Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’t know what will happen and in that spaciousness of uncertainty there is room to act.” Hope in the dark

What I’m doing about it

I’m keeping the hope, but still reading the news.

We are reaching information fatigue. Last week, we couldn’t face any more news, opinions or analysis. I want a little sip of information, just to keep my brain hydrated, but the newspapers, TV and websites are coming at me with a water cannon of THINGS I NEED TO KNOW.

The ‘clean eating’ fad is ridiculous and dangerous, so I’m on an ‘information cleanse’ – applying some conscious filters to my news and information. I’m avoiding meat-based shouting opinions, fake news pumped full of refined sugar and dairy-laden conspiracy stories.

red heart nope pin

Do you see hope or nope?


On guilt: “Stop wasting your time feeling guilty.”

Guilt. Gilt. Only one letter difference and only one is shiny.

Husband is very quick to smack down guilt. He has a more practical sense of how we need to motivate ourselves.

What I’m doing about it

Less guilty and more gilt-y.

After the inauguration (in-anger-ation?) and women’s march, I was on Twitter, scrolling and shaking my head, contributing to the aforementioned ‘information fatigue’.

Kristina Halvorsen is one of my content strategy heroes, and I follow her on Twitter.

Kristina: My 12yo son is racked with white man’s guilt. Wants to help the world but doesn’t want to be seen as a “white savior”. Parenting is hard.

Me: I don’t want my kids to be driven by guilt alone. Maybe grateful to be in a position to make a difference?  Responsible & aware & kind?

Kristina: ME TOO

Me: I’ve got a calming facemask on & starting to read Hope in the dark. Rebecca Solnit. Want to pass hope on to kids. And skincare.

Special thanks to Sam for the recommended reading.


Here’s one I wrote earlier

To all the ladies in the house   Mother’s Day had serious expectations heaped upon it, such as handmade cards and someone else replacing the toilet paper for once. International Women’s Day? Just the same old fluff – gender parity, equal opportunities, more women in leadership, less violence blah blah.

Kids – sorry the grown-ups broke your EU   Dear kids, Yesterday some grown-ups broke your European Union. Sorry about that. They didn’t really mean to. I hope that you can fix it when you’re older. Remember to vote. Love, mum



A Christmas cat and snowman video

Husband and daughter have collaborated on a wonderful Christmas video. Enjoy the magic of plasticine and patience…

Here’s one I wrote earlier

12 reasons I don’t hate Christmas  My crying in front of the Christmas tree has been interrupted by the arrival of our online shopping order. Bags of quality produce to last us through the next few days of family, friends and festive-ness.

Step away from the shopping!  A heavy glossy Christmas shopping catalogue has fallen out of the newspaper. It’s from Liberty. I fear it.

Love is not dead, it’s just resting

How often do you tell your loved ones that they are loved?

On a sliding scale, I think the most romantic medium are (with 1 being most lovely):

  1. In person – the most romantic. A bonus if it’s with eye contact too, not as you’re picking breakfast cereal off your top and your partner is sailing out the door.
  2. Post – delightful. I adore paper. Send me anything by post and it immediately gets Bonus Points for effort.
  3. Telephone (talking) – still quite romantic. Not sure where Skype falls in this list. Maybe between 2 and 3, depending on your connection speed and quality of web cam. “What?? What?? I can’t hear you. Why is the video so fuzzy?” is a mood-killer.
  4. Email. Well, I guess it’s sort of like a letter, so depending on the content it can be romantic. It’s not romantic if it ends in the request for an urgent cash transfer in US dollars.
  5. Telephone (texting). See story below.

Last week, I was out and about in town, hanging with the hipsters. Browsing through displays of vintage glass bottles; admiring photographs of artist with their heads covered in shaving foam etc.

It was sunny. I was happy. In this general spirit of well-being and happiness, I sent husband a text: “I love you. Lots.”

A few minutes later, he called back: “Are you OK?”

I paused. “Er, yes. I’m OK. Hi.” (Puzzlement.)

Husband: “I got your text. Thanks. Just checking that you’re not um …” (Uncomfortable pause.)

Me: “What?”

Husband: “Are you OK?”

Me: “Yes… I’m not standing on a cliff about to throw myself in to the sea! I was just sending you a lovely text!”

Husband: “Right. OK then.”

So that’s how it is in our relationship. I love you = Cry for help. Just to be clear, the next time I said “I love you” I added “but I’m not going to kill myself.”