I live in the First World and I have problems. Some people call this ‘White Whine’, but as I’m not technically white, I prefer the term ‘First World Problems’.
I’ve just returned from a week in the English countryside, where we had a lot of rain, and very little Internet access.
I found small transient pockets of 3G as we whizzed through towns. As husband drove, I frantically updated and refreshed as many mobile apps as possible. Then I had to put down the phones as we swerved through green hedge-lined tunnels of car-sickness.
Getting a decent Internet connection was a complete pain in the bum. So we ate a wide and varied selection of fried fish and fried potatoes, moaned about the weather, and watched Jubilee TV.
Here is my current list of other First World Problems:
- I don’t buy yoghurt because there are too many choices, and anyway, it’s just a pretend-healthy tub of sugar + dairy nonsense.
- The cafés at garden centres have uncomfortable seating.
- My mobile phone screen is always smeared with ear grease.
- I have too many plastic shopping bags, but I don’t want to put them in the rubbish because they will enter the waterways and strangle dolphins.
- I still don’t know which of my relatives I should add to Facebook. I think mum has stopped trying to Friend me.
- I am a little bit embarrassed when my (Chinese) parents bring their own toothpicks to (non-Chinese) restaurants, and pick their teeth after a meal.
- I don’t have time to read Vanity Fair properly anymore.
- My Kindle now looks out of date and unfashionable.
- I still don’t let my kids to wear Crocs in public. Unless we are near a large body of water.
- I don’t know what threadcount my sheets are.
- I read blogs written by people who are more creative, funny, rich, stylish and/or youthful than me. It makes me feel inadequate.
Posted in About me
Tagged carsick, chinese, country, Crocs, driving, facebook, first world problems, Kindle, mobile, parents, phone, plastic bags, threadcount, toothpick, yoghurt
I have dinner in the oven, and I’m breathing, as I write this blog. Is that multi-tasking? I’ve got Facebook and Twitter open too (but I promise I’m not looking at them). Am I being super-duper efficient?
When I was a project manager, I organised lots of tasks, wrangled resources and constantly communicated to stakeholders. Those important people holding those stakes liked to see that I was Across Everything. All the time.
I used to think I was an ace multi-tasker, but now I’m not so sure…
Multi-tasking that I do well
Watch television AND sew stuff AND listen to husband debrief about work. Easy – it’s my wife-work.
Attend my daughter’s first school Christmas play AND have a vomiting flu. This is how it goes: watch adorable children in charming play; discreetly dash off to vomit in school toilets; smoothly slide back in to my seat to applaud.
Make breakfast for kids AND pack school lunch AND fill in school forms AND check homework. It feels as if I’ve achieved so much by 9.00 am!
Multi-tasking that I don’t do well
Driving AND talking on the phone. I have never learnt this essential modern life skill. I can’t imagine how people send text messages whilst they’re driving. Many years ago, I was equally amazed by boyfriend-who-is-now-my-husband rolling his own cigarettes in the car whilst steering with his knees.
Reading email AND checking a mobile AND talking to a colleague AND filling in a spreadsheet AND discreetly updating Facebook AND being on hold with IT helpdesk AND drinking very hot coffee. It may look impressive, but I’m really doing all of these tasks quite averagely.
Eating on the sofa AND watching yet another bloody cooking show on TV. No matter what I’ve made myself to eat, my tastebuds get all disappointed if I’m watching a TV chef make truffled starfish and chestnut kebabs.