My crying in front of the Christmas tree has been interrupted by the arrival of our online shopping order. Bags of quality produce to last us through the next few days of family, friends and festive-ness.
I’d just received one of those phone calls dreaded by expats, involving “sad news” and “I wish I could be there”.
The call itself was fine. It was only a few minutes afterwards that the sneaky waves of sadness started washing over me. An unexpectedly large wave knocked my legs out from under me, and I gave in to a little quiet seated weeping.
The shopping delivery put an end to that. As did the discovery that the luxury Madagascan vanilla custard was substituted by an own-brand LOW FAT custard.
You shall not say that you hate Christmas
It may be fashionable to declare that one despises Christmas. This year, Christmas is reminding me of the good things in my life.
Here are 12 reasons why I don’t hate Christmas:
- Pork, in all its many forms. Every meal is piggy.
- A wobbly drunk man in a novelty Christmas hat (with dangling fake mistletoe) trying to kiss strangers on the Tube.
- Christmas craft. I made a willow wreath.

Willow is bendier than I expected…
- This is the last year that my son sort of believes in Santa. “I think it’s you putting my present under the tree, but I’m not sure. I hope he’s real, because I want an iPad.”
- I’m not homeless.
- Husband is like a Christmas cooking machine – shortbread, pavlova, potted duck, Christmas pudding, pork terrine.

The secret ingredient is crumbled Flake chocolate bar.
- Parcels and presents and cards are outnumbering junk mail.
- Kids singing. Even if they’re not entirely in tune, the sound of kids singing carols is wonderful.
- Half price Nordic cheese domes. (I have no idea…)

I thought about it briefly, but didn’t buy one.
- We put aside any concerns about global warming and turn on ALL the lights we can find, as soon as it’s dark. It’s so pretty!
- Christmas jumpers. I bought my first one this year and have been told that it is Awesome.

I wore this to work – twice.
- Family and friends, and my health and my home.
Here’s one I wrote earlier
You ungrateful cow. Would you like a whinge with your excellent coffee today? I would. It’s almost a reflex: “No sugar thanks. (The man on the bus smelt like old sausages.) Full fat milk please. (I hate filling in forms.) Just a regular size coffee today. (Charity muggers are taking over the streets.)”