Pictures of my kids, or not?

My kids are too attractive to put pictures of them in my blog. Their beauty and grace would make you weep tears of joyous wonder over your keyboard, rendering you unable to see or type.

That’s my back-up reason for not featuring my outstandingly photogenic kids on my blog.

The real reason is that I feel a bit odd about maxing out their digital presence, before they are old enough to understand and sign a consent form.

I’m not even sure this blog will be around when they’re old enough to sign this consent form. If it is, the form might look something like this:

Dear Mum

(You are great.)

I give you my permission to include the following in your amazing blog:

• Pictures of me. I may be looking right at the camera, or it may be one of those secret shots of a pensive child gazing in to the distance.
• Sound recordings of me. Even if it is a song about being sexy. (I do actually know what ‘sexy’ means.)
• Videos of me. These include me falling off stuff in a funny but not painful way.
• Pictures of my AMAZING school art projects. I am an artistic prodigy, after all.

I understand that all of my friends, relatives and future employers will be able to see these pictures and recordings of me. Complete strangers in foreign lands might even copy them to use in promotional material about pineapple-based health supplements for the whole family.

(I love you mum.)

I  ____________  have read and understood the contents of this form.

Signature

Date

Here’s one I wrote earlier:

Show me your private parts. Pre-digital privacy was such a clear concept: Teenage diary with “Keep Out. Private.” written on the cover…