Tag Archives: food

Pictures of things I hope you don’t own

I do tend to write about pushing back the tide of digital detritus that washes over us. Pointless crap is not exclusively found on the Internet – see pictures below.

poop &scoop barbie

Feeding the dog crap.

I saw this Poop & Scoop Barbie on sale at Christmas. I was disappointed that the dog’s poo wasn’t pink and sparkling and shaped like a B.

 

decorated thongs sandals

Look what came back with me from the (plastic) beach.

Unfortunately, these didn’t come in my size. I have small-ish feet, and these were designed for the larger lady who wanted the “I’ve just stepped in a bucket of novelty plastic marine crap” look.

 

ugly owl collection

A sad sad collection.

I bought a very tasteful small display cabinet from eBay. At no extra cost, it came with a huge set of hideous owls. Here is a selection of the poor creatures …

 

Nair glitter wax

It sparkles and smells like cherry.

Obviously glitter and artificial cherry fragrence makes ripping out unwanted body hair Fun Fun Fun.

 

Kitchen gadgets

That chicken suffered even after it was killed.

This charming display of kitchen gadgetry includes: Butter Melter (Perfect for melting butter, chocolate and more!); Flavour Injector (Includes two needles and storage case) and a Veggie Twister (Turn your vegetables into attractive spaghetti or spirals in seconds!).

We are all alone, together

Looking down the hill, the lights of the party twinkled and crinkled through the trees. The wafts of voices floated up past me in the dark. I could see my friends arranging and rearranging themselves in to little clumps of conversation and mid-priced wine.

From this small distance, my friends were still familiar, but separate from me. Facebook makes me feel a bit like this – on the outside, looking in. Just quickly sweeping my hand over the bumpy surface of my friends’ profiles.

Are you a happy strand of the World Wide Web? Do Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, email and forums make you feel connected? There’s still something ‘lite’ to me about online communities. Perhaps I need to find the niche forum out there for Sydney mums called Lorraine who used to work in the Internet world.

The pen is mightier than the keyboard

I’ve always written letters to my friends. Pen and paper and my terrible handwriting. There’s a stillness and focus to writing a letter. It takes time, but I feel as if my voice is absolutely captured and transmitted. I write this for You, and You Only. There are no digital copies.

Some thoughts and feelings seem to suit paper:

I’m sorry that you’re sad but I will bake a cake from your recipe, and think of you when I eat it.

I hope he didn’t notice when I laughed and a little bit of mushroom soup came out of my nose.

I miss you so much that my ribcage is creaking.

A life less digital – happy first birthday

My blog baby is a year old.

As a responsible parent. I tell my kids that they need to enjoy healthy food as well as ‘treat’ food. Every day I try to balance offline experiences with digital treats. Slow food and fast food.

“Walnuts and pears you plant for your heirs”, says an old English proverb. These trees took a long time to mature and bear fruit, and were planted for future generations. My garden is too small for fruit trees, but I am still planting real-life ideas and experiences and values in my home.

Depending on where you are living, perhaps you could:

Child writing at table

Concentrating very hard

Brought to you by the Interweb – a handwritten email

When email was still new and mysterious, I heard of an exec who needed his secretary to re-type and print out emails he’d received, to read them ‘properly’. Now you can send emails in your handwriting. Let me know if it’s any good …

Hunting, gathering and Googling

I am actively avoiding food porn. No more cruising the aisles of glossy cookbooks, or sitting glassy-eyed in front of TV cooking shows. Instead, I am trying to cook from my own, quite substantial collection of cookbooks and clippings.

The picture below is from my school cookbook. Haven’t cooked many things from it yet, as they are mostly hideous… [Click image to view recipe for “Ham banana rolls with cheese sauce”. I scanned it in big, so that you can print it out and cook it yourself. If you dare.]

Recipe for Ham banana rolls

Please let me know if you attempt to cook this. I'd love to know what it tastes like.

The trouble is, my recipes are not particularly well indexed and, in geek-speak, need better metadata. So despite having a lot of cookbooks, I often have to Google particular recipes. (Perhaps my husband, who doesn’t often read my blog,  will create a lovely database of my recipes?)

When I first met the wondrous Internet, the entire office shared one email address, and it was actually “E-mail”. I’d read about The Web in very attractive Wired magazines, but didn’t appreciate the amazing bounty of information out there until I saw the recipe sites.

For my younger readers, this is what web pages used to look like:

Vietnamese recipes from 1996 Internet

Note the lack of images, videos, advertising etc etc

Brought to you by the Interweb – Herb haters

Went to a fab restaurant this week, where we had: “Buttermilk pannacotta, with coriander jelly, pain d’epice, pineapple granita”. Sounds odd, but it was delicious.  I just found a site for coriander/cilantro haters http://www.ihatecilantro.com/ .

Just eat it

I can’t think of an underlying anti-digital point I can make about these pictures. They all have something to do with food. And they are pretty. Enjoy.

Rainbow cake

rainbow cake

Completely full of artificial colours and flavours

My daughter presented this tray to me: “A rainbow cake”.

The everlasting wedding cake

Felt wedding cake

My wedding cake made from felt!

When I got married this year, I had a cute cake made in felt. I hope it (and the marriage) last!

Fruit bowl

Fruit in wooden fruit bowl

I do like a bit of decorative fruit

I forgot that I had this lovely wooden bowl, and I’m now using it for fruit. This is the decorative fruit bowl, with tastefully arranged specimens. (The other fruit bowl has the almost-too-ripe bananas, sagging tomatoes and ancient kiwifruit.)

Lollipop tree

Lollipop stick on lawn

Will the lollipop tree grow?

Someone told the kids that if they planted their lollipip stick, it would grow in to a lollipop tree. They stuck it in the ground, watered it, and after about 5 minutes of intent stick-watching, wandered off.

Spotty cutlery

 

polka dot spoon, knife, fork

spot chew dot sip

I bought these beautiful Japanese spotty cutlery sets for myself as a wedding present.

King of snacks

Jam and cream bun

I love the decorative presentation squizzled on top...

I think this was a cream bun, or possibly a donut. It was bought from a local bakery in a country town. Almost enough of a reason to move to the country …

Microwave cuisine

Following on from my post last month about life before microwaves

A friend, whose mother was an early-adopter of microwave technology, demonstrated how to magically nuke chunks of Coon cheddar cheese on Salada crackers (quick and tasty hors d’oeuvre in seconds!). When we got our own microwave, I used to melt chocolates* then eat them with a teaspoon (a quick and tasty dessert in seconds!).

*I believe they were After Eight dinner mints, sadly no longer fashionable in Australia.

Microwave alive

I was an avid fan of X-files. In the episode Ghost in the Machine, various digital devices start taking on a life of their own. Not long after watching this, I came home by myself one day and noticed that the microwave display was flashing ominously: “help me help me help me”. My first thought was, of course, “My mother’s microwave is self-aware, and it’s talking to me! How do I find out if we have an X-files department in Melbourne?!” A few calmer seconds later, I realised that there had been a local power blackout and all other appliances also needed to be reset. I was a little disappointed.

Lots of people think the Ghost in the machine episode sucked. See IMDB and wikipedia entries, where fanboys and girls are really too harsh. It was the 90’s and I remember that episode fondly.

Brought to you by the Interweb – half a kilo of chocolate, they call it a Slab!

It’s 500g of chocolate, so of course they call it a slab.  See the shiny pictures of Giant Chocolate Slabs.