Tag Archives: kids

Pictures of my kids, or not?

My kids are too attractive to put pictures of them in my blog. Their beauty and grace would make you weep tears of joyous wonder over your keyboard, rendering you unable to see or type.

That’s my back-up reason for not featuring my outstandingly photogenic kids on my blog.

The real reason is that I feel a bit odd about maxing out their digital presence, before they are old enough to understand and sign a consent form.

I’m not even sure this blog will be around when they’re old enough to sign this consent form. If it is, the form might look something like this:

Dear Mum

(You are great.)

I give you my permission to include the following in your amazing blog:

  • Pictures of me. I may be looking right at the camera, or it may be one of those secret shots of a pensive child gazing in to the distance.
  • Sound recordings of me. Even if it is a song about being sexy. (I do actually know what ‘sexy’ means.)
  • Videos of me. These include me falling off stuff in a funny but not painful way.
  • Pictures of my AMAZING school art projects. I am an artistic prodigy, after all.

I understand that all of my friends, relatives and future employers will be able to see these pictures and recordings of me. Complete strangers in foreign lands might even copy them to use in promotional material about pineapple-based health supplements for the whole family.

(I love you mum.)

I  ____________  have read and understood the contents of this form.




Here’s one I wrote earlier:

Show me your private parts. Pre-digital privacy was such a clear concept: Teenage diary with “Keep Out. Private.” written on the cover…

A good night in

It’s been a good night in

Husband is away, so I’ve had some great nights in at home. I have been surrounded by: 

  • Hand, foot, cuticle and nail potions
  • All the remote controls and phones in the house (some now with very supple heels and strong nails…)
  • Endless singing and talent TV shows
  • A selection of remaining Easter chocolate and party bag sweets
  • All the cushions.

I’m not really alone as the kids are asleep upstairs.

I love going to tuck the kids in before I go to bed. I re-arrange their duvets over disordered limbs and dense breathing. They smell clean.

They’re still and complete and quietly humming with life. Like small people-shaped batteries, furiously recharging themselves on dreams of zombies, rainbow flowers, vanilla fudge and high-speed trains.

Or maybe that’s what I’ll be dreaming of, after a little too much chocolate and cuticle conditioner. 

Good night. 

It’s a (pink) girl’s world

I try very hard not to fall in to the blue/boy and pink/girl trap. I hate the fact that some very ordinary things are being gender-coloured. See exhibit A: Pink Globe.

Pink globe

It's a (pink) girl's world

Is Lego just for lads?

My boy has always been showered with Lego gifts. Cars, rockets, spaceships, planes, robots, trains… But when it came time for his sister to experience the  world of high-quality plastic studded construction bricks, she was not impressed.

I wanted her to use her imagination to build wonderful freeform creations  from generic secondhand Lego. She wanted cool Lego sets like her brother, but they had to include pink, sparkles, babies and ice-creams. Sigh…

My solution – I scoured eBay for girly Lego. It took ages, but I think I’ve found the solution.

The Lego spaceship

The Lego spaceship

Little Lego car in corner

Little Lego car in corner

Lego on pillow

Good morning my lego love

Hello Kitty tea set with Lego

Hello Kitty tea set with Lego

Lego with playmobil ice cream shop

Lego combined with Playmobil ice cream shop

Girl power

Here’s one of my favourite pics of a strong female role model for my daughter …

Princess leia in bread

The Princess of carbs

Will you be my friend?

The fastest way to make friends is to have a brief chat, run around a park for a bit, then exchange phone numbers.This method seems to be working quite well for my son.

We’ve been in London for only a few weeks, so we don’t know a lot of people over here. While I wonder how to make connections, my son meets children in the park and asks “Can I come over to your house to play?” Simple, really… I wish I had his confident approach to networking.

I’ve been wondering who ‘my tribe’ here will be:

  • Lady of leisure? One day maybe – right now, kids are eating dinner from a small rickety garden table and I’m wrestling with the new art of vacuuming stairs…
  • School mum?  Not yet – it’s school holidays, and I still haven’t officially heard when the kids start school.
  • Art gallery fan? Perhaps, if I was without the children. I took them to the Tate Modern, and all they wanted to do was eat snacks at the cafe. I pretended that the only way to get to the cafe was via some of the exhibition rooms, just so I could trot past a few pictures. (They were asking me why it was taking so long to find the cafe.)
  • Aussie expat? Not right now – I’m more interested in becoming a local, rather than celebrating the joys of distant Sydney. Plus, like a new mother, I am getting a LITTLE bit sick of advice from strangers.
  • Digital hipster? Not any more – I had lunch in a fashionable cafe in Shoreditch last week, and I felt like Dr Who going back in time, avoiding my past-self. Casually self-important young men glanced at iPads. They wore neatly buttoned checked shirts and not-too-tight plain coloured jeans. Pretty girls in ugly glasses and Scandanavian A-line skirts flicked through magazines and tapped away on iPhones. I knew the 90s music they were playing (My Bloody Valentine; Mazzy Star), and the coffee was good, but I am now a mature-age student at the school of cool.
  • Chinese immigrant? hahahaha – I have been struggling to cook edible rice in a pot (I am really missing my rice cooker!) My non-Asian husband does a much better job at it.

Maybe I should browse online for people who will overlap me in a Venn diagram of interests. Meet up instead of just emailing and admiring from a distance. Or maybe I’ll try my son’s approach?

Goodbye from the Orchard Twins

I assembled this card just before I left Sydney, and took  a dodgy phone picture. The card is by ‘Art and ghosts‘ and I added the vintage Scrabble tiles.

Goodbye card with scrabble tiles

The card is by 'Art and ghosts' and I added the Scrabble tiles ... I(http://artandghosts.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/02/the-orchard-twi.html)

Top tips for enjoyable flying with babies and kids

I am not part of the flying sisterhood. As the exhausted, grim-faced mother unbuckled herself and struggled to her feet yet again, I just felt sooooo pleased I wasn’t flying with a baby.

From back here, between my two TV-sedated kids, I saw her reach in to the bassinet. It looked like she was trying to stuff a boiling, seething mass of tiny arms and legs and teddies and dummies and blankets in to a shoe box. A small part of me felt sorry for her. A larger, more smug, part of me was just glad it wasn’t me…

Top tips for enjoyable flying with babies and kids:

– Leave kids behind at airport staring dumbstruck at 1 kg blocks of duty free chocolate.
– Ensure husband’s inflight TV doesn’t work so he has to hold the baby.
– Find all the sick sacks or vomit bags you can as soon as you sit down. Sometimes one is not enough.
– For several years before you fly, strictly control the amount of TV your kids are allowed to watch. Then let them loose on the plane. Yes, you can watch that film 3 times in a row!
– Replace your real baby with a life-like educational doll. Much, much more placid.
– Remember to charge the iPad fully. And stop lecturing your toddler on why they should be gentle with it. If you hand it over, it is possible that they want to bash Dora the Explorer’s head with a fork.
– For girls, try to guess which ridiculous diamond-encrusted watch mummy likes in the airline magazine.
– For boys, try to assess the relative probability of different flying-related risks on each route eg ash clouds, engine failure, computer malfunctions, pilot narcolepsy.
– Have lots of “skin to skin” time with your baby. People won’t make eye contact with you if you’re naked.
– Drop a bag of small sweets on the floor and let the kids eat as many as they can find. Sweets that roll well are more fun.

Show me your private parts

Pre-digital privacy was such a clear concept:

  • Teenage diary with “Keep Out. Private.” written on the cover
  • Letters addressed to you
  • Your phone calls made at home, in a room with the door shut
  • Holiday photos stuck in a photo album.

I’m making my own decisions about what I share with people I’ve never met (like some of you dear readers).

My private parts

  • My location. I don’t want everyone to know where I am all of the time. And I can’t be bothered doing it. Or constantly reading about what supermarket you are in.
  • My kids. Hmmm… I’m just not sure about putting my kids’ details and pictures out on the public web. They are, of course, very photogenic and clever and amusing. Maybe when they’re older, and able to actively consent to it, I can make them famous.
  • Facebook. Many years ago, my best friend’s mum read her diary – a serious breach of schoolgirl diary protocol. Do the modern youth also feel so protective about their status updates?
  • Religion. I prefer not to discuss my god, gods, gurus or higher powers. I’m still working it out.
  • Domestic arguments. Some neighbours had a long-running domestic breakdown in their backyard. It was messy and noisy and painful to listen to.

My public parts

  • The bathroom. In a small house with small kids, our bathroom is just another room. It’s not unusual for all of us to be in the bathroom at the same time – one in the shower, one on the toilet and the others just chatting. Family time.
  • Twitter. I’m on it. Follow me @lorrainel if you wish, but I can’t guarantee the quality of my tweets!
  • This blog. I started “A life less digital” because I had so many thoughts whirling through my mind, and not enough people to rant to. I just have to remember that anyone in the world can read my blog. Greetings to my former colleagues and potential employers.
  • My name. Lorraine Leung. I’m not using a pseudonym because this is my blog about my thoughts. Good blogs reflect the personality and passion of real people. I’m not a poor student being paid $2 per blog article. Promise.

Here’s one I wrote later…

Pictures of my kids, or not? My kids are too attractive to put pictures of them in my blog. Their beauty and grace would make you weep tears of joyous wonder over your keyboard, rendering you unable to see or type.

Brought to you by the Interweb – My 1920s name

I grew up thinking I was unique, but if you Google me, there are quite a few of me around. Other Lorraine Leungs seem to have better careers and more friends than I do.

According to the Namevoyager, my name ‘Lorraine’ was most popular in the 1920s.

Things I say to my kids that my mum never said to me

Here are some things I say to my kids that my mum never said to me. Modern parenting just seems a little more complicated these days …

“No, we cannot buy that on eBay.”

“Go play Angry Birds on dad’s phone. Mine has no games on it.” (I’m lying to them, but it stops them playing with my phone.)

“Who re-programmed the dishwasher again?”

“That’s called ADVERTISING. They want us to spend our money on more stuff we don’t need.”

“I don’t know the answer why. I’ll look it up on the Web later.” (See my earlier post Curiosity killed (by) the Internet.)

“If you don’t finish your homework, you can’t play Star Wars games on the computer.”

“Stop right-clicking the mouse! Use the other finger!”

“No, the Lego company does not use the money we give them to help poor people.” (A true answer to a real question about whether Lego existed to help the disadvantaged…)

“Can you please help your sister find the Angelina Ballerina website? Make sure you turn off that sound!”

“It’s full of chemicals and I don’t think it’s good for you. Have some organic locally-produced cold-pressed vitamin-enriched guava infusion instead.”

“Shall we Skype our friends in America?”

“I’m making dinner. I can’t find Puff the Magic Dragon video on YouTube right now.”

Brought to you by the Interweb – Angry Birds film

Seems like we have so little creative talent left in the world that the Angry Birds app is going to be made in to an Angry Birds film. I wonder if they’ll be producing Angry Birds shaped cheese-flavoured ice-cream snacks for the little ones?