Old technology doesn’t die, it just waits until it’s retro and sort of interesting again…

Posted on July 30, 2010 | 3 comments

Picture 1: Old technology in dryers. The dials on my mum’s dryer (still operational). What is Orlon? Terylene? And Crimplene? They sound a bit like unfortunate siblings. Orlon – sturdy oldest boy, likes fishing, won’t eat peas. Twin girls Terylene – the one with freckles who likes horses and puppies, and Crimplene – slightly taller and allergic to cornflour.

Old dryer dials

Hello Orlon, Terylene and Crimplene

Picture 2: Old technology CD-ROMs. I found this CD-ROM in my brother’s room. I can’t remember if he actually used it, but CD-ROMs are so quaint now! Like being chaperoned around the Internet by jolly Mr Microsoft. When I was in high school, at home we had a set of brown and orange Rigby Joy of Knowledge Encyclopedias. I really did believe that all the world’s knowledge was contained in those shiny heavy books of joy.

Encarta 97 CD ROM cover

The Encarta 97 Encyclopedia

Picture 3: New technology as a donut. The future of donuts is no longer round. It is shaped like a mobile phone.

phone shaped donut

Talking crap and eating crap


Brought to you by the Interweb – Phones for the young and young at heart

I will probably not be buying a children’s phone for my kids or an old person’s phone for my parents.

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The Internet saved my marriage

Posted on July 15, 2010 | Leave a comment

I got married on the weekend to my ‘almost-husband’, who is now just my husband.

For scheduling reasons, I had to move the wedding date forward, and only had 2 and a bit weeks before the wedding. Eeep! It was always going to be a small family occasion, but I was amazed it all got organised – thanks mostly to the Internet.

Websites to find wedding-y things

  • Found my celebrant online at http://www.celebrantsonline.com.au/. It is an ugly ugly piece of Web, but it works. The first celebrant I called had just passed away that day – very unfortunate and not a great pre-wedding omen. I suggested to the person who answered her phone that they might want to take her details off the website. The second didn’t get back to me for a couple of weeks, but the third one was just right!
  • Found my restaurant by surfing websites, and checking out friends’ recommendations. Ended up at Donovans in St Kilda http://www.donovanshouse.com.au/. Not a slick website, but gave me enough info to make enquiries. The woman who answered the phone was so supremely helpful I booked the dining room. It was ace!
  • My photographer put all the lovely wedding pictures he took up on a secure website so my family and friends could see them. This was especially appreciated by people overseas. Paul Stevens is at http://www.paul-stevens.info/.
  • Bought my wedding cake online. It’s made of felt, is inedible, adorable, and will last forever. Mine was chocolate with strawberries! See pic on this post Just eat it.
  • Facebook profile was filled with messages and comments after I posted that I was married. It was very sweet to have old acquaintances say congrats and check out the pictures. I don’t think Facebook is entirely shallow. I like the way we can maintain connections to people outside our ‘inner circle’, by letting them dip in and out of my life stream. If you need the link, and you really should know this one – www.facebook.com.

Emails for almost all communication

  • It is just far too hard to individually ring people to organise dates and times. I kept doing mass emails to family about dates, times, venues etc.
  • The celebrant, restaurant, shoe shop, photographer all gave me loads of information quickly via email. I found the Births, Deaths and Marriages office much more responsive on email than phone.
  • Since it was a strictly ‘immediate family only’ event, I sent crazy Bridezilla emails to my girlfriends when I was stressed.

So I now have the complete package – mortgage, kids and husband, in that exact order.

Brought to you by the Interweb – How to have really shiny wedding hair

The wedding industry is scary. Here you can buy hair extensions with Swarovski crystals stuck in them. And I also found a bridal fitness plan.

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Ghostpatrol – it’s art, not vandalism!

Posted on June 21, 2010 | 1 comment

For quite a while I have been cyber-stalking some Melbourne artists – Miso and Ghostpatrol. I regularly check out their websites, read about them and curse myself every time I miss their shows in Melbourne.

A few months ago, a wonderful thing happened. Ghostpatrol put a picture on my dad’s surgery in Fitzroy! (see pic below). I was visiting family in Melbourne, so saw it as I was driving by.

Picture on wall by ghostpatrol

My dad and his Ghostpatrol art

The broken surgery window you can see is part of the story too. Very early one morning, someone had pushed in the glass pane. Dad did a temporary repair, and the next night, the picture appeared.

My parents were immediately suspicious. They had a crazy theory that someone had broken the window (vandalism), and then pasted up a picture (graffiti). I had to energetically convince them that it was Art, and that they should NOT under any circumstances scrape it off. I shudder to think what they would have done if I hadn’t had been there …

It was so incredibly satisfying to see the beautiful brown paper boy peering out at me from the wall. Not just a picture on a website. Within a few days, the picture had been peeled away by wind and rain, but for a short time, the virtual had become real.

Brought to you by the Interweb – Pencil art

Ghostpatrol creates adorable artworks on sets of pencils… Jennifer Maestre makes very weird organic sculptures from pencils too.

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Games I play

Posted on June 10, 2010 | Leave a comment

Scrabble

Downloaded my second iPhone app this week – Scrabble. (The first was Twitter, because I feel like I really should be tweeting more, but can’t quite think what to write.)

I love it. Since I have always had a passion for words, writing and reading, Scrabble is a joy for me. Unfortunately, my almost-husband has no interest in it. The kids are not quite literate enough yet, and a game with them would probably involve explaining why we don’t stick Scrabble tiles in the toaster.

Crosswords

I envy people who have:

  1. the time to do crosswords
  2. the self-control to not look up every third answer on the Internet
  3. a partner who doesn’t think that crosswords should only be printed on novelty toilet paper.

I feel especially jealous when I see romantic couples without children having leisurely brunches over the weekend super brain crunching cryptic crosswords.

Brought to you by the InterWeb – Extra wide toasters

I don’t know why you would want a toaster that can toast for 2 hours, but here it is http://www.toasterovensguide.com/black-and-decker-cto6301-toaster-oven.htm

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Have you got the time?

Posted on June 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

I once had a digital watch that flipped open to reveal a secret compartment filled with little sweets. Genius.

I used to admire watches that promised more than telling time – like calculator watches with cute fiddly little rubber buttons, or complicated dials showing phases of the moon and atmospheric pressure.

I toyed with the idea of buying a futuristic cuboid watches with huge digital numbers (hello dear Mr Starck). But with digital watches you can only see one time – now. Living in the moment. (Watch geeks love the analog Reveal watch. It cleverly only shows the current time – mimicking a digital display.)

Most days I feel so rushed that I like the perspective of the past (“It’s been 57 minutes since I thought about eating.”) and the future (“13 minutes until the pie is done.”) So I have simple analog watches* that just tell the time.

Isn’t it weird that we still wear watches? Almost everything around tells us the time – mobile phones, microwaves, computers, cars, cameras. Why do we still need/like to wear our time on our wrists?

* I have a Mondaine Swiss Railway watch and an M&Co 10-One-4 watch.

Brought to you by the Interweb – Last  minute fancy dress costumes

Oops – forgot that the party you’re going off to is fancy dress? Here are some last minute and quite odd costume ideas. The Furry Nightmare Vest is terrifying.

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Usability of clever toilets and iPhones

Posted on May 19, 2010 | Leave a comment

The restaurant was modern, smart and friendly. The toilets were modern, smart and baffling. It took me quite a while to figure out how to turn the taps on. I cautiously waved my hands around, pressed a few metal discs, and even tried stepping on parts of the floor (I have been fooled by foot-operated taps before).

The first picture below shows the magical mystery sink. The second photo shows the smart-arse ‘tap’ in action.

Clever wash basin with hidden taps

clever wash basin with water

I was very pleased that I worked it out, without having to seek assistance. Why did the bathroom experience designer, or whatever they are called, make something very practical and necessary – washing hands, so difficult?

The intuitive and smug iPhone interface

When I became an iPerson, my brother assured me that it was all very simple to use. I just needed to play with it. I’m reinforcing a gender stereotype, but I would have preferred an old-fashioned user manual, not just a little leaflet telling me how simple everything is. All the blokes I know with iPhones seem very happy to spend hours fiddling away figuring out just how many cool things they can do. Learn through play.

Between kids, work, friends and household duties, I haven’t found many opportunities to stroke the iPhone and marvel at it’s attractive design. As a result, I still haven’t moved far beyond the basic mobile functions – make and receive calls, browse websites, make notes, use the calculator… I haven’t even downloaded an app!

My iPhone shines smugly at me: “You are not quite worthy of my glossy features and seamlessly smooth lifestyle enabling functions.”

Brought to you by the Interweb – iPhone crochet craft
I love crochet – by other people, not me. I want someone to make me a crochet iPhone toy.

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People v machines

Posted on May 6, 2010 | Leave a comment

I listened to the Important Business Man complain about the hardships of his Important Job to the furiously busy café owner, as I waited for my toasted cheese and tomato sandwich (wholegrain, no salt and pepper).

It would be very convenient if I could just text or email my order ahead, on the way to work, and then pick up my order – bypassing the Important Moaning Business People. Easy, time-saving and efficient. And removing yet another human interaction from my life.

Pros and cons of non-human transactions:

  • Online banking – hooray. No more wasted time in bank queues, wondering whether the same person designed the carpet AND the uniforms.
  • Ticket machines at train stations – hooray x2 now that our local station has a machine that takes cards. For readers living outside of New South Wales, yes – this is 2010, and yes – quite a few machines here will only take cash.
  • Mass Christmas ” oh haven’t we had a busy year” emails – boo. It’s great to hear what you and the brood have been up to, but I really really miss handwritten letters. And it’s not hard to pick up the phone/ mobile/ Skype handset thingy…
  • Sending virtual gifts – boo. Please don’t throw a smoked ham at me or grow me a virtual herb garden on Facebook. Why not buy some fresh cinnamon donuts to share for afternoon tea?

Our local shops include 4 cafes*. At my favourite one, the staff know my name, talk to my kids, give us free treats. It’s lovely and peronal and would not happen if I pre-ordered by mobile phone.

*We are a very up-and-coming neighbourhood. Refer to the original post on Stuff White People Like about coffee. And for bonus SWPL points,  I am an Asian Girl and my kids have two last names!

Brought to you by the Interweb – Donuts in art

I know donuts are ‘treat food’ (in kid-speak), but they are also a recurring theme in contemporary art. Look at these artistic rings of fried dough.

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A selection of helpful notices from my office

Posted on April 22, 2010 | 3 comments

Sometimes I feel as if I have too much information in my life. Newspapers, news on television, magazines, emails, magazines, books, newsletters, websites … And today I counted 8 notices in the (very small) kitchen and 4 in the (also small) bathroom. See selection of most ridiculous below.

Kitchen notice with mouse picture

A very tidy mouse

kitchen notice about using too much milk

A mug half-full or half-empty?

kitchen notice about sandwich press

Simple sandwich rules

Bathroom notice about proper toilet use

Improper toilet use

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I am an iPerson

Posted on April 15, 2010 | 2 comments

Oops. I have an iPhone.

Not long after my smug anti-iPhone post ‘It’s not real until it’s an iPhone app‘, I have become an iPerson. We had a series of internal family phone swaps:

  1. My sneaky brother convinced our mum that he would make better use of her new iPhone. (Well, she wasn’t using it properly anyway …)
  2. Our mum has gone back to her non-i phone.
  3. I have my brother’s old iToy. (As he warned me, the battery is crap, and I think he dropped it in water somewhere… But I’m not fussy.)
  4. My almost-husband has my old non-i phone.

So, I don’t hate it. My typing/tapping has improved slowly. I like the swiping and swooping of the screen.

I still don’t think I NEED it, but as expected, I am browsing the web a lot more than I used to, just because I can. And I haven’t even begun to investigate downloading apps yet.

Brought to you by the Interweb – fingerprints from your ears

As I marvelled at the amount of ear grease left on my iPhone, I wondered if we could use our unique earprints to replace PINs and passwords. I found out that scientsts have been researching ‘acoustic fingerprints‘ as a way to add security to phones.

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The long and winding path to photo album happiness

Posted on April 6, 2010 | Leave a comment

I saw a little boy peering through a digital camera at a park bench. He was taking many pictures at very close range, possibly quite artistic ones in an abstract way. Grandma bustled over, saying: “Stop wasting the film, William!” The mother sipped her coffee and sighed: “It’s OK mum, it’s DIGITAL. It doesn’t use film.”

Years ago, I reluctantly gave up on film when it became too expensive to develop. However, I still try to keep my photo albums of printed photos (almost) current. It is a slow and sometimes tedious process of sifting and sorting and procrastinating …

1. Take far too many pictures. Download them to computer.
2. Import photos in to Adobe Photoshop Elements. Wait a few days for Paul to tag them (location, people, event etc). Leave them for a while.
3. When ‘print photos’ has been on my list of things to do for many weeks, I start doing the first photo cull. Delete the following:
• any shots where I look confused, odd and/or old
• the 20 extra shots of the same scene that we took ‘just in case the first one didn’t work out’
• any photos where the kids had runny noses, strange bruises or too much blue icing on their faces.
Then I get bored.
4. A few weeks later, go back and realise that we still have too many photos. Delete even more photos of the kids looking cute. We have lots of those already.
5. Finally upload the limited selection to Flikr. This is our online backup of hi-res files.
6. Then transfer from Flikr to Snapfish for printing. Feel a bit worried when I see that the shopping cart has $80 of photos to print. Make a cup of tea.
7. Delete more photos from shopping cart. Make the order and wait for pictures.
8. A few days later, pictures arrive. I flick through them and leave them on the shelf next to the photo albums. Some time passes.
9. I put the pictures in chronological order, and then slot them in to the photo album. I write in dates pictures were taken and some locations. Hooray – the photo albums are up to date. (NB: Since step 1 above, we have taken many many more pictures… sigh …)
10. A few months later, upload some to Facebook.

Is it worth it?

Brought to you by the InterWeb – your face is as big as my bed

I love you so much that I made your face my duvet cover – see personalised bedding! I can imagine a charming picture of hubby as the duvet and a lovely child on each pillow.

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